Half of first semester has gone, and it slowly occurs to me, that it is more demanding attending school, than i remembered – and expected. The passed week included 10 hours of study group, 27 hours of planned classes, homework, and naturally time with my beautiful daughters. But how do you find the time to connect the dots? The rest of my time is spent at a wonderful mix of homework, preparations, a bit of relaxation and ordinary house holding.
I certainly expected, that my ridiculous activity level at high school 17-19 years ago would ever be adequate, and my approach to the study is by far more based on interest and will than at most of my previous schooling. I was engaged at the school for the prison system and made great results, and I struggled and farming school and made good grades in general, but this is just something else.
First and foremost it is different, because it is the first education, where i don’t feel, someone is holding our hand from the beginning to the end. We have to be proactive, we have a much greater responsibility in out own learning, and no one has the responsibility nor interest in carrying us through. AND it is really nice this way, yet a bit confusing.
Not the first education
I have participated in some various educations so far:
- 10 years of ground school
- The draft at the Danish army
- High school (business)
- Office clerk education
- HD at Business school (university) (completed halfway)
- SAS statistics certifications
- Datamatic (school closed down the education due to very high level of drop-outs)
- Prison guard education
- Farming school
- NLP Coaching certifications
- and now the present version of business and economics at Aarhus University
Wow it’s a lot, when set up this way…
Difficulty level and demands for independence has been much varying, and i guess the two educations closest to the university education must have been HD (naturally) and the NLP coaching certifications. HD speaks for it self, since it is roughly the same education at the same school, while NLP required a very unique and independent development, and though a high degree of counseling and guidance I really felt it as my own independent transformation.
Looking forwards – and backwards
But now i look back on the busiest week in this semester so far, assignments to do, study groups to be dedicated to, and at the same time i feel somewhat lost in at least two classes. And i just have to catch up!
I will simply not accept at flunk an exam. By Odin and Loke, it could happen, but it cannot be due to lack of work on my part…
It just cannot happen, I will not return to the life i had. I want to look forwards, but i do also stand guard against the grim ghost of the past, which I struggle to keep at distance – and some days it even succeeds…
Det må ikke ske, jeg vil ikke tilbage til den tilværelse, der har været, jeg ønske at se frem, men vogter dog over fortidens grumme spøgelse, som jeg stædigt prøver at holde distance til – og nogle dage lykkedes det også…